All-too-common statements that hold us back from achieving SUCCESS

Raven, Duck, or Chicken?

In my last article, I shared about a DJ who stated the following…

“all these self help gurus and people who make instructional videos and write books on any business do it for one reason…ti fill their pockets. if you doubt what i say, then name me ONE author, dvd producer, or instructional guru who did all the work and didnt fill their pockets.”

He decided to identify himself as DJ Raven in the comments section and when I asked him about the DJ Business Consulting services he offers…he responded with the following…

“dj’s get paid by their clients…dj 101…I give the knowledge I share with other dj’s for FREE!!! Maybe I should start charging? Thanks for the free business advice!!! No wonder you’re so successful! ~ hugs and kisses!”

 But when I pointed out that his web site shows those services come with a price tag…he responded once again…

“I do not charge any member of our association, I do not charge any dj who wants to exchange ideas, I do not charge any member of any other association, and I wouldn’t even charge you!…If i spend one on one time exclusively with one individual in a learning that has been scheduled to last more than one hour for the sole purpose of education, and they are not a member of any association, I DO CHARGE! since we’re on the subject, send me your book for free, as well as any other material you sell…for free. If I can do it, I’m sure YOU CAN TOO! Maybe free information for all adja members? all snap members? all name members? If I can share mine, why can’t you?” (emphasis added)

So I had to follow up with a very simple but direct question…which Raven then proceeded to repeatedly…Duck.

The question was…


Why are you charging to help “other” DJs?

Don’t you care about helping them too?”

Instead of answering…he challenged me to give away my book for free or offer refunds to DJs in the ADJA who had bought my book all the while acting more and more like another form of fowl.

I found myself wondering what could possibly be so hard about such a simple question that it would cause a Raven to Duck and run like a Chicken?

This double standard in our indsutry that says if you truly “care” about helping the industry then your information and time should be given away for FREE (but he can charge for his information if they are not a part of his local association) has become a stumbling block for progress in our midst.

How long will information that costs money to produce and has value that can be measured in increased demand and profits for those that utilize it be mocked by our own brethren as “kool aid” that “won’t work in my market”  while those that are sincerely making huge efforts to help our indsutry move onward and upward are cut down publicly because “they ONLY care about lining their own pockets”?

When will Ravens quit Ducking and running like Chickens and instead stand up straight and bold and say “I charge DJs for my educational services because my time and information is worth it!” with no fear of reprisal for doing so?

I hope it will be sooner rather than later.

16 Responses to Raven, Duck, or Chicken?

  • If I charge nothing for my time… that’s exactly what it’s worth.

  • Peter Merry
    I completely understand why you help those in your group…that’s never been in question. But I think you knew that.
    Expenses for what? Your time? You’re retired aren’t you? What expenses? Give us a few exmaples.

    DJ Raven
    O god, why don’t you just ask me if I put on clean underwear this morning too… knock knock…anyone home?

    This is now getting ridiculous…and where I jump off.
    I know you will spin this in some way, and enjoy yourself. Enjoy your Kool Aid, and let me know if you ever decide to take me up on my still stands, although we all know it will never happen.

  • Raven finally stopped ducking…kind of…

    “The reason? Like you, I have expenses. My expenses are not large, So I am not in a position where I have to charge everyone for my time.” (from our facebook conversation)

  • Apparently he’s now flown the coop. 😉

  • Why is it okay for Raven to charge people (DJ’s) money for “consultations” but it is completely wrong for anyone else (like you Peter) to do the same? The reason, he is jealous of your success. He wants what you have. The notoriety, the speaking engagements, the TV spots, the book deals and the respect of his piers. His ego is bruised and he wants what you have and by droning on and on he gets his 15 minutes in the spotlight.

  • And as if charging someone for your time and effort is somehow dishonest. I wonder if he charges his DJ clients? If so — DOESN’T HE CARE ABOUT THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE??? Sheesh. I have a buddy who is a bit like this. Because I’m self-employed and am home all day, he calls me and thinks I can talk for hours and hours on end. He asks me to do all sorts of “favors.” Every now and then I tell him, “Look, I charge people $35.00 per hour when I do that for them.” He offers me copies of music or something in exchange. “Sorry, but the phone company doesn’t take CDs.” Then he gets mad at the idea that my time has any value. “Well, if I don’t go and make some money, then the next time you call me, my phone will be off.” Logic. It’s a bitch. 🙂

  • wow, peter deleted the entire conversation after i re posted it…convenient…!/djraven69?v=wall&story_fbid=123838114311551

  • I apologize…didn’t see it until i refreshed the page.

  • Well I do not know about being part of any group in order to get advice for free, but Peter Merry has taught me a lot in a short amount of time.

    I first met Peter at MBLV09, and I thought I was a great DJ charging $450-650 for my services. Peter and I spoke FOR FREE (he didn’t charge me for anything he told me), but after our discussion he said it sounded like I was doing a lot of things most other DJs were doing making 3 to 4 times the rate I was charging. He recommended I should raise my rates. Peter suggested I charge $750-850 once I got back to my area. After all that I learned attending the conference, I jumped to $1000, was scared at first but then realized people would pay that for my services.

    Peter suggested I start providing feedback forms to my clients, which I now do on a regular basis and guess what, again they were saying the service I provide is worth a lot more than what they paid. So again I raised my rates to $1200, and have been at that price for the 2010 wedding season. Based on the feedback I am receiving I may raise my rates again next year by another $200-300.

    Point being, I would have still been that $450-650 DJ if it had not been for my conversation with Peter. Yes I have bought his book, but that didn’t happen till after I returned from MBLV. I met up again with Peter in Chicago last year at the ADJA Summer Conference, and had some time to catch up. I also am registering for the Professional Process for the ARMSDJ Conference in Greenville.

    You have to be willing to spend money if you wish to better yourself in this industry. The funny part is, I greatly increased the income I take home from events from the free conversation I had with Peter. If he did nothing else for me that would be okay, but I know that Peter has proven himself in this indsutry, and still has to prove himself to all the haters and non-believers out there.

  • So I went to your facebook page, and attempted to comment and address one of your questions, and guess what… I was removed from your friends list and can no longer comment on the original dialogue…guess I kind of expected it.
    What started as comments and discussion over the booby bongo dj had turned to critiques, and then to personal opinions on accountability for success, and then a pissin contest.
    I deleted it all from my facebook page as well.
    This was never meant to be an attack peter, simply an exchange to learn opinions that turned into a pissin contest.
    For what it’s worth, I’m still inviting you to drop by the next time you are in the area…

    If you can change my mind, then I will give you all the credit you deserve. My mind simply has not been changed. Deleting me and spinning things on your blog isnt helping you to change my mind either.
    All that aside, I hope you take me up on my invitation when you are in the area…And I’m aSTILL offering to buy the drinks, even after all the pissin!

  • Raven…I just needed a break. Not so much from you…but moreso from Ron. “Un-friending” you was the only way to prevent any more of his spiteful comments from hitting my inbox.

    Whenever I am in your area next…I will certainly be more than willing to sit down and talk with you. No need to buy drinks…I don’t drink…but the offer is still appreciated.

    I seriously doubt that “I” could ever change your mind. Only you have the ability to do that…and candidly…you don’t appear very open to new ideas based on your repeated kool aid comments.

    As for spinning on my blog…I quoted your words. You posted them. I didn’t twist them. I just quoted them. Here are two examples…

    “all these self help gurus and people who make instructional videos and write books on any business do it for one reason…ti fill their pockets. if you doubt what i say, then name me ONE author, dvd producer, or instructional guru who did all the work and didnt fill their pockets.”

    “remember, if all these books, dvd’s and cd’s were here to truly help the industry, then they would be available for free to all dj’s.”

    Did you believe that when you posted it? Do you still believe that? Was there anything else I left out of your statements that would have clarified why you didn’t actually believe what you said in those quotes? If not…then I was fairly representing your opinions, beliefs, and comments.

    If I have misrepresented you with those quotes…please help me understand how and why by clarifying what you really meant…and I will gladly post a retraction and an apology to you.

  • it is what it is Peter, I know others have even a harder position than I do, and I hope you do take me up on it. I need a break from it as well.

  • “it is what it is Peter, I know others have even a harder position than I do”

    Shall I take that as “yes…you quoted me correctly and that is what I believe”?

    I’d hate to think that I misrepresented you in any way.

  • So… if I PAID for a course that would help me raise my rates last November, and the most I had ever made for a wedding was $2000… and just today I booked my first $3400 wedding… I think I’d PAY for that course again!!! Guys… that’s a 59% raise in less than 6 months! If you disagree with what Peter Merry… or any other “self help” guru has to say… simply change the channel, turn off the computer or walk away from the conversation. I kind of hope you will… that just means more “platinum wedding brides” for me! 🙂

  • By the way… I forgot to mention my market is Eau Claire, WI… population 60k, where the average rate for a DJ is $600… if I can make $3400 here, YOU CAN MAKE THAT ANYWHERE!!!

  • Raven is certainly a hypocrite for charging a consulting fee and then criticizing others for doing the same. However, I think his broader point is that Peter should not hide behind the altruistic ideology of bettering the DJ industry, when his real motivation is profits. After all, doesn’t Peter have a “do as I say not as I do” message?

    For example, Peter constantly criticizes part-time DJs who have “day jobs,” yet by his own admission, he is a part-time DJ himself. How do you criticize a DJ for holding a day job, and then go ahead and hold several other jobs yourself (writer, public speaker, consultant, etc.)?

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